Quirky little bits
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Quirky little bits

Conversations take on a whole different feel when you tell people you’ve written a novel. They are either impressed, and feel an inordinate need to exploit their extensive vocabulary; or they become so intimidated that they don’t speak at all. Some become so tongue tied that they actually don’t make sense and end up asking bizarre questions and don’t realize it. It’s these quirky little questions that I want to address.
“Does your family own a bar?”
No, we don’t own a bar. We’ve visited bars, been known to swing from them occasionally, and even eaten the candy type, but do not own one. Any rumors as to the “type” of bar I was swinging from last are vehemently denied.
“Are you a witch?”
Piss me off, and let’s find out!
“I’ll bet you’re really rich now, huh?”
If I wanted to be rich, I wouldn’t have chosen writing to be the thing to do to get me there. The answer is no. Besides, really good writers don’t write to make money, they write to be heard. Can you hear me now?
“You said you write what you know...where did you get all this gore and violence?”
Ever read a newspaper or a history book? There is by far more gore and violence in the front page of any current newspaper or world history publication than there is in my book. Real life is violent and messy unfortunately, especially where there is upheaval and change....or if you’re watching “Cheaters.”
“Hey! That’s my name...is this character named after me?”
Maybe...I use names of people that have touched me in some way, good or bad, villains and heroes both. Sometimes I combine names to make them up, like ‘Corson.’ The rest are made up from looking at baby books of names. If your name turns up as a villain or a victim...take the hint like a grown up, please?
“Can I borrow a couple a hundred...?”
I’m a writer...not Bill Gates. 
“Why demons? Why not vampires and werewolves like everyone else?”
Because I’m not everyone else...and there are far more writers that are better at that subject than me. And who said I’m NOT going to, like, write about them? Huh? Maybe I, like, still am? Ever, like, you know, think about that?
“Is this all you write? Fantasy, Sci-Fi sh*t? Don’t you write REAL books?”
Define “real”. My “real” where a book is concerned is very broad. There is no firm definition of “real” when you are dealing with an art form. That’s what makes it ‘art.’ Don’t make me get my light saber out and beat the crap out of you.
“Can I borrow...?”
ARGH! Enough with the money...I don’t have it! I’m a struggling, self-published writer. If you want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich THAT I have; as well as a whole case of Top Ramen and Rice Crispies...cash is a whole different subject.
So, there you have it...everything you’ve always wanted to know and maybe some things you really didn’t, but that’s just tough...I’ve told you anyway. Off to get the cauldron out. The neighbors have been playing polka music until the wee hours and I need to fix that the old fashioned way, especially since my watch is in the shop!  ; )

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